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Altar Boyz
Seymour Centre, Sydney; Ovations Live
Wednesday, June 11, 2008. Opening Night Performance. Review by MAZ DIXON.

Until August 2. Bookings: (02) 9351 7940.

Boy Bands and Christian rock are big business, as illustrated by the popular success of Altar Boyz. Having done well off-Broadway in the last few years, it’s been imported to Australia with few changes. The personality types that each Boy represents haven’t shifted from the American version, which leads to some additional humour. Homeboy Luke (Tim Madden), for example, speaks rapper-ese in an Australian accent, perhaps unintentionally sending up Aussie bands that indulge in wholesale mimicry of American music styles.

Like all good manufactured bands, each Boy is a distinct Type: Good-looking Matthew (Cameron Macdonald) is the leader. Mark (Dion Bilios) is the band’s choreographer and in extreme denial as to his sexual orientation. Luke’s passionate and frequently in rehab for “exhaustion”. Juan (Jeremy Brennan) is a steamy Latino, and Abraham (Andrew Koblar) is the lyricist and token Jewish guy. Much of the fun in Altar Boyz comes from the inherent inconsistencies between these Boy Band Types and the Christian values they espouse - moralising and crotch grabbing are not a good fit.

The cast work well together. They are clearly aware of, and have fun with, the built-in absurdities of the band. Yet they also manage to seem completely sincere throughout the whole thing, which is no mean feat.

While Altar Boyz is essentially presented as a concert, the writers have managed to work in quite a few back-stories. These include how the band formed, and the personal demons and quests of each of the Boyz. A highlight is the onstage culmination of Juan’s search for his long-lost parents. Humour is also found in the Boyz’s cluelessness when it comes to the many possible interpretations of their lyrics. In a song about the joys of abstinence, it doesn’t seem to occur to anyone that it might be insulting to tell a girl “you make me want to wait”.

Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker’s songs are a good blend of choral, gospel and synthetic pop. The Boyz have beautiful voices and enjoy taking the mickey out of the posturing and vocal gymnastics that are an American/Australian Idol staple. There are laughs to be had but the humour is unlikely to offend anyone. This is the Achilles’ heel of Altar Boyz. The satire is so gentle that at times you hardly notice it’s there and you’re just watching another boy band perform. I did enjoy Altar Boyz, but I would have enjoyed it a lot more if it had teeth.